Striving and Thriving

October 31, 2007

Striving and Thriving

In recent years the field of Coaching started expanding from the corporate world for work-related performance to private lives for all sorts of personal improvement. People are now seeking Personal Coaching to accomplish specific goals. But many are looking for something bigger and less defined.We want more purpose and meaning in our lives. We want to challenge ourselves and try new things.

We want variety and adventure and fun. We want to get out of a rut and leave ongoing boredom behind.We want to be happy.In recent years psychology has started to catch up. A new field is developing, Positive Psychology, or the Psychology of Happiness. Social scientists are using research to understand the necessary components of being happy and enjoying life. It’s about time!

But there’s a little problem. Positive Psychology is very—positive! It focuses on optimism, accomplishment, and points of view that emphasize personal power, connection to others, and growth—all good and meaningful goals. But it can come across as unrealistic. I listened to an interview with a CEO recently about Executive Coaching and he made a comment about his objections to Positive Psychology. He said it’s out of balance, focusing on attitudes and thoughts and ignoring struggles and difficulties. And he was being interviewed by one of the pioneers in Positive Psychology!

His point resonated with me. As I’ve entered the field of Coaching the overly positive attitude has been a concern. There’s a lot of talk about developing a vision, setting goals, planning steps, and making things happen. There’s a lot of talk about amazing changes people can accomplish. But there’s not much talk about why people don’t set goals and accomplish amazing things very often.

It’s because it’s really, really hard to do. It takes a lot of work. Sometimes it’s frightening, because change takes us into the world of the unknown. Sometimes it’s lonely, because everyone around is living in comfortable ruts and sees the world in little boxes. It’s overwhelming to think of what we can accomplish once we take control of our lives, because we have a sense that we might leave behind a lot of our current lives, especially some of the people.

Change is difficult. Life is difficult. Tiny little steps can be terrifying when you’re facing insecurities or getting out of routines established by decades of habit. But taking those little steps can be a huge victory.There are plenty of reasons to be optimistic about taking charge of your life. When you see other people make big changes, it inspires hope. But those changes come in small steps. You have to face some big fears, get up after stumbling, and regain ground after setbacks.

The goal of Coaching is Thriving. The path to thriving is through Striving. I will keep that balance in mind here. I will acknowledge the long, slow struggle it takes to make meaningful changes. I will also acknowledge the powerful changes people make in their lives when they face those struggles and take those steps with the help of a Coach, Mentor, or Friend.

Posted in Striving and Thriving, Zine 1: October 2007