The Price of Misery

March 17, 2008

Pursuit of Happiness: Money

How much is it costing you to stay in a job you hate but think you can’t leave?

On the surface, you might think you’re stuck. You have a mortgage or rent payment, a car payment, and a pile of bills that take every bit of money you earn. There doesn’t seem to be much, if anything, left over at the end of the month.

When you think about leaving a frustrating or even soul-sucking job you worry that you won’t find a job that pays as much. You can’t see a way to make it on less money. You can’t see a way to save up money to pay off bills or build up a cushion to get through the transition.

When you’re looking at how much you spend each month, try adding a new category: Misery. Here’s how I would like you to see this. When we are unhappy with work and only stay for the level of salary, we tend to compensate for our misery with the money.

It can be things that seem small, like thinking I’m too stressed out by this job to go home and cook. If I’m wearing myself out for this salary, then we’re going to have take-out or eat out a lot.

It can be something bigger, like I spend so much time commuting for this high-paying I’m going to buy myself a really nice care.

It can be little choices that pile up. How many times do you think That’s kind of expensive, but I can afford it. And I’m working so hard I deserve it. Giving yourself permission to buy something nice you can really afford is fine. But buying things you can barely – or not really – afford to try to compensate for your unhappiness with your life gets very expensive quickly.

What other expenses are specific to that job? Do you eat out for lunch because it’s expected? Or do you eat out to treat yourself because it’s a nice break in a frustrating day? If you were happier at work, that expense might disappear. Think about it and decide if it goes in the “Misery” category.

Do you have to wear clothing that needs to be dry-cleaned? How much do you spend on the commute to and from work? Are you buying three-dollar coffee when you could brew your own coffee if you had a better schedule?

How much is it costing you to keep the high paying job that’s making you miserable? When you see all the ways you’re spending money to be able to keep the job, or to compensate for the misery of the job, you get a much truer picture of what you are earning.

Can you get a less expensive car? Would you be willing to live in a more modest home if it helped you have a life with more satisfaction, enjoyment, and peace?

When you look at all the ways you would be willing and able to pay less if you were in a more satisfying job, you get a much clearer idea of how much you need to earn.

Posted in Pursuit of Happiness: Money, Zine 6: March 2008